I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.