Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
someone owes me an orgasm
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.