Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...