How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
