Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.