My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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