3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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