just come out here and I will go home with you...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
