I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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