wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
is it fun? or sober?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
