why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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