Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
