this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
