Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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