She announced her abortion via fbk
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize