Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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