he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize