using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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