She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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