We're facebook friends in real life
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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