Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
