I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize