When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she peed on how many people?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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