It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
