I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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