I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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