i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
