I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
