drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
