i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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