tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
