i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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