my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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