he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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