He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
