ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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