At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
