It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
