these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
