and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
