South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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