like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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