heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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