I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
