I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
