goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
