Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
