you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
