Sry I called you an 8
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
