she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
