There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
