Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
