she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
