I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
