Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dick very happy bro
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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