A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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