Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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