help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So here I am, sexting at work.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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