Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
