im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
