don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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