you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She bit a glass in half.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize