The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
